Ode to Alice Beer

"Oh Alice Beer I love you, for you I would happily contract avian flu..."

LISTEN - Stream for FREE or Download for 65p >

Credits

Writer: Thom Barr (with additional material from Graeme Arnfield & Chris Harvey) Composer: Chris Harvey, Vocals: Thom Barr, Guitar: Chris Harvey, Producer: Graeme Arnfield

Lyrics

I remember the day I first saw you
Giving out holiday advice just like you do
You were talking about Greece at this time of year
But I just thought: ‘about you I really care’

I broke my Hoover just to write to Watchdog
But Anne Robinson replied, that pitiful frog
So I wrote you this song I hope you like it
But if you don’t then be honest and just say it’s shit

Oh Alice Beer, I love you
You’re the only woman I want to woo
Oh Alice Beer, I hope you love me
You’re the most beautiful person to have graced my TV

I know you’ve got kids but I don’t care
I can’t keep my eyes off your derriere
Your teeth, your lips, your nose, your eyes
When I see you it’s such a pleasant surprise
Oh, Alice Beer I love you
I’d read you a copy of Taming of the Shrew
Oh Alice Beer, I hope you love me
I’d take you on a summer holiday right by the sea

Weekend trips to Chester Zoo
I’ll steal any animal you want to me to
Alligators and Lions that’s deal
Cos I’m not comfortable being an animals meal

We’d buy all the finest stuff baby
I’d support you financially, maybe
If you asked me I’d rob a bank
For my musical talent I’ve got you to thank

Oh, Alice Beer I love you
For you I would happily contract avian flu
Oh Alice Beer, I hope you love me
And if you insist I would contract HIV
Oh, Alice Beer I love you
Just look at what my feelings have made me do
Oh Alice Beer, I hope you love me
You gave up your passion the day you went down on Ruby (who’s your husband, but you probably know that)
(Fade Out)